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Remember when you were in kindergarten and you believed that anything was possible? You felt that you could be and do anything you wanted? Your creativity was a well that would never run dry and your imagination had no limits! There was no such thing as a bad day. Every day was an adventure with new things to conquer and discover. So what happened? Somewhere down the road of life, we lost that edge, that belief that we could do anything we put our minds to do. We lost our Kindergarten Confidence. In this issue of Success Strategies, you will learn how to restore that confidence within yourself. You will once again believe that anything is possible.
If you ask the average person what happened to the kindergarten confidence they once had, most will tell you “life” happened. That life has a way of knocking you down, talking bad about you, and discouraging you when you don’t measure up to the standards of others. As a result, most people view themselves in comparison to what others are doing and what others are saying about them. They remember too when they used to believe anything was possible, until they heard enough times that they couldn’t do certain things and then the worst thing in the world happened to them… they believed it. However, what other people say about you is really just an opinion and probably an uneducated one at that. What others say about you does not matter. What really matters is what you are saying and believing about yourself.
1. Step One: Figure out where you lost your confidence.
- Revisit a time in your life when you believe you lost a little confidence and ask yourself the following questions: What happened? How did that change my perspective of who I was? Was that new perspective accurate? How have I lived my life differently since that incident? How has that incident made me wiser or better?
- Decide what role your past “confidence killers” are going to play in your future. Are you going to use them to make you stronger or weaker? Will they make you kinder and more sensitive to others; or will they make you standoffish and suspicious?
- Remember, you decide what things mean to you and the meaning you give to things plays the biggest role in how you are able to deal with them.
- Remind yourself that you are older, better, wiser and stronger today then you were when your confidence killer first appeared. Go back in your mind to the time(s) you lost a little confidence and re-write the script. See yourself back then as the stronger person you are today. Play out the result you want in your head and let this new empowering thought be your “confidence coach” as you move forward.
2. Step Two: Change your beliefs and inner conversations.
- Take time to evaluate who you believe you are and what you believe you can do. To do this you must first create an accurate thought about yourself. For example, thinking that you can’t earn $100,000 a year is not an accurate thought. An accurate thought would be that it is possible for you to make $100,000 a year. Would you need to make some changes to accomplish this? Probably. But, is it possible? Yes. Which means using “can’t” created your inaccurate thought.
- Monitor your language concerning yourself. You don’t always believe what other people tell you, but you always believe what you tell yourself. Remember other people may influence your thoughts, but only you control them.
- When a negative thought enters your mind and begins to stop you from moving forward, replace it with a positive one by speaking it OUT-LOUD. Most people lose the battle in their minds when trying to talk themselves into “right” thinking. So attack your mind’s way of hearing, speaking and thinking negatively by talking out-loud when trying to change your inner conversation.
3. Step Three: Focus on what you want, not on what your fear.
- There is a great force in the world called the Law of Attraction, which, in a nutshell, says that which you attract are the things you concentrate and think on the most. So the question is what do you think about most? Your debt or your abundance? Your bad health or your good health? What don’t have or what you do have?
- Remember that fear is just a signal or call to action. It means it’s time to prepare for something coming. Use it as an opportunity for growth.
4. Step Four: Get moving.
- Walk Faster. One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow, tired, or painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self- confidence by putting some pep in your step so that you look and feel more important
- Work out. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
- Remind yourself that your feelings are often misleading. For example, the last time you worked out, you may have felt you didn’t have the energy to do so, but afterwards you realized you did, and were glad.
Step Five: Make a personal commitment to try each of the following:
- Dress up. Although clothes don’t make the man (or woman), they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are
- Stand (or sit) tall. Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self-confidence.
- Compliment other people and give more. When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling onto others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self-confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
THE BOTTOM LINE:
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. – King Solomon